Svetlana Smirnoff Chronicles
It was quite a surprise when I was contacted by Bobby Monday (president in running). He said he wanted me to head down to Oliver Springs High School to investigate for communist since former Physical Science teacher Coach Channel was sold to the Russians. Little did Bobby know that I myself am Russian Spy, Svetlana Smirnoff, and I am the one who bought him. Yes, I am a double agent for Russia and the United States. It is indeed crazy because when I was down there in THE high school, I learned some interesting facts about the principal Mr. Woods. We all still mourn John F. Kennedy after his passing, but that is now over. Mr. Woods is JFK in hiding! Yes it is true, I concluded my examination after learning the love that both men had for crunchwraps. Those things proved the truth, he is indeed the 35th president of the United States. Now I ran a DNA test and found some more shocking news. JFK is actually John F. Kennedy Booth, yes he is the son of John Wilkes Booth, and Mr. Booth is his long lost relative. Further research led me to the discovery that Mr. Booth has the hidden artifact from the murder of Abe. Lincoln. The Pickle Frog in a bucket listening to heavy metal One Direction. It is from my numbers that I have concluded the artifact is worth 839,349,140 MIllion Dollars. I asked for an interview, hoping to steal it. He agreed but when I got to the house I was attacked by a dog. I then learned it was Jackie Kennedy, she is really a dog named Pipi. I hope to find out moreu about this situation. Stay tuned.
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